The Meaning of a Month
October. In my little world, it’s the month of my birthday and wedding anniversary, and beyond that, it’s Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
As the month starts to wind down, it’s clear that sometimes I struggle to find the words and wonder if it even matters that I do. But I think of myself at 19, suddenly in a powerfully toxic relationship, and I remember that it does.
The desperate need for connection, healing, and joy is what first shaped The Purple Thread, and fortunately/unfortunately, I found I wasn’t alone.
“1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence, and/or stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc.” (NCADV) and “on average, 3 women a day are killed in this country from domestic violence.” (Futures Without Violence)
In honor of the survivors, bystanders, allies, and angels of this awareness month, I share with you:
• a passage from my keynote presentation
• an open invitation to reach out to me if you/a loved one is going through it
• a reminder that we’ve ALL had something difficult, and to be kind — to each other and to yourself
• a thank you to those that have made me feel safe, heard and loved
“I was fueled by irritation and confusion. I craved clarity. How could I know what I’m in is wrong but not know what it was? How could I know what abusive relationships are but not know I’m in one? The disconnect bothered me. I stayed up late on my computer reading other people’s stories, the signs on a screen gave me chills. Identifying “this thing” felt like the first step to healing, to feeling like I wasn’t crazy. Better yet, I wasn’t alone. The anger was slowly replaced with a positive opportunity to use my voice. I can’t say if I had been educated on this, it definitely wouldn’t have happened. But I do believe it would’ve been very different. And every time I see the lightbulbs go off in a group just like this, I wish from the deepest part of my heart that it will be different for you.”
